relaxation response

Practice the Relaxation Response

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A new season is just around the corner.

Fall can be a wonderful time to slow down, notice what’s changing around us, and take in something pleasant. Even a brief moment of noticing what feels good can support the relaxation response and help calm the nervous system.

That alone can help support the relaxation response.

Fall in Ohio, where I grew up, is a shower of colors and cool, refreshing air—Mother Nature’s reward after a hot, humid summer. When I was a kid, we lived next to a school with a big sports field, so fall was also accompanied by the sights and sounds of young teens having football practice. They seemed to double in size in their football uniforms—big, bulky shoulder pads, jerseys, and helmets, running and grunting as they tackled each other to the ground.

I feel nostalgic when I see kids practicing now on the football field near my home.

Fall is here in the San Francisco Bay Area, though with a more subtle touch than what I knew as a young person in Ohio. This is such a rich time to notice changes in the environment. You can feel it—in the air, the light, the colors, the foods at the market.

And we might notice changes within ourselves since we are, after all, a part of nature. Perhaps you’re going to bed a little earlier, feeling a shift in your energy, or noticing changes in what you want to do with your time.

Take a moment to pay attention to the changes and invite curiosity about what is here.

Notice What’s Pleasant

I encourage you to notice the season’s changes and take them in through all your senses—smell, taste, touch, sight, and sound. Play. Get outside. And notice what’s going on inside as well.

Noticing moments of pleasure can support the relaxation response. Even in the midst of challenge, we can see a moment of what’s working, what might be going well, or something we appreciate.

This doesn’t mean denying the challenge. It means recognizing that the challenge is not all there is.

When we notice a pleasant moment and allow ourselves to stay with it, we give our attention a chance to rest somewhere other than the source of stress. This can help calm the nervous system and support our capacity to respond to challenges more skillfully.

Relaxation Response: Try It

  • Pause and notice your environment.
  • Rest your attention on something pleasant—a tree, a picture, a sound, a bird, a smell, the sky, or anything else that catches your attention. If nothing shows up, don’t push it, just acknowledge your experience.
  • Stay with it for a few cycles of breath.
  • Notice sensations in your body, along with any thoughts and feelings that arise. Then, if it feels pleasant, stay with the experience for about 30 seconds.
  • Then proceed—take your next step with clear intention.

This is a simple mindfulness practice you can use anytime you need a moment of stress relief. You don’t have to change what’s happening. Just pause, notice, and allow yourself to take in what’s already here.

 

More Mindfulness and Stress Management Resources

  • YouTube for guided mindfulness practices and talks about stress, the brain, and the body

Cooling Off in the Heat of the Moment

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Finding calm amidst irritation, stress, or anger is challenging, but crucial for preventing relationship strain and project disruptions. Emotional regulation is key, enabling us to navigate intense moments skillfully and repair potential damage. In this blog, I introduce the POP Stress Now™ method – Pause, Observe, Proceed – as a quick and effective way to cool down and respond thoughtfully.

The Impact of Overwhelm

When overwhelmed, our cognitive functions (reasoning, concentration, discernment) suffer, making regrettable actions more likely. Whether it’s an outburst or a subtle gesture, these missteps can hinder trust and communication, affecting individuals, groups, and teams. So, before you say something you regret, or send an email you wish you could retrieve, or otherwise do something that hinders connection and trust, practice POP — Pause, Observe, Proceed – and avoid long-term negative consequences.

Mastering Emotional Regulation: A Guide to the POP Stress Now™ Method

This 3-step POP process can take as little as 30 seconds. And you can do it right where you are. It calms the nervous system that is naturally activated when we’re agitated, stressed, overwhelmed.

POP Stress Now: Pause, Observe, Proceed

  1.  PAUSE: Stop, take a moment, and become aware of your breath. Sense the breath moving in and out of the body. Three cycles of breath can help calm the nervous system.
  2. OBSERVE: Notice thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Tend to what you notice with curiosity and kindness. Acknowledge and “name it to tame it,” following Dr. Dan Siegel’s advice.
  3. PROCEED: With a bit more connection, take the next step. It can be anything — responding to someone, working, eating, exercising, prioritizing your to-do list, getting a cup of tea, continuing to sit quietly, or whatever you decide is best for you now.

Try this POP Stress Now Recording!

Versatility of POP

POP isn’t just for heated moments; it’s a valuable tool for pre-meeting preparation, difficult conversations, presentations, or post-upset calming. You can even use it after moments of success or pleasure to fully savor the experience.

Practice a few times a day so it’s a familiar go-to tool. As you get more comfortable with it, you will be able to access it more easily during those inevitable heated moments.

Practical Application: My POP Story

A personal anecdote illustrates the power of the POP method. Feeling excluded from a crucial meeting, I was angry and hurt and on the verge of a confrontation. Through POP, I paused, acknowledged my emotions, and decided to take the classic “sleep on it” tactic. I decided to wait until the next morning to calmly talk with him. When the next morning arrived, however, I’d received his invite with an apology for inadvertently leaving me off the initial invitation. If I’d reacted the day before from my initial response of anger and hurt, the exchange would have been quite different.

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Let’s Connect

  • YouTube for guided mindfulness practices and talks about stress, the brain, and the body