It’s that time of year again! Autumn and . . . oh no, the holidays! How did they get here again, so quickly?! This time of year is a mixed bag for me. I love the short days and long, cozy nights, the cool, fresh air, the colorful leaves floating from the trees, the deep blue sky. But then there are the holidays. The hustle and bustle begins to rumble; expectations rise. I’m not a huge fan, I admit. (Please, don’t hold it against me.) But I must contend with them — find the pleasure I have to be careful to strike a balance between the quiet, contemplative time the season inspires in me and the social, celebratory nature that keeps things noisy and active. Even if you love the holidays, you still need to take care of yourself in the midst of it all. Our routines may change, we may travel, eat differently, see family members or others that we don’t see during the year. This can be both wonderful and sometimes challenging. Expectations are high, yet they may not (usually don’t) match reality. It can help to pay a little extra attention to signs of stress and get ahead of them or manage them (manage ourselves) so we can stay healthy in mind and spirit. These tips can help.

Five Stress Busters

1. Take time to appreciate what you have; identify what’s working. Name it, take it in with all your senses. Appreciation activates brain regions associated with dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good and makes us want more of the thing that made us feel good. So the appreciation loop feeds itself. 2. Take breaks to do what gives you joy and calm. What is it for you? A walk, exercise, singing, resting, breathing, drinking a delicious cup of tea, spending time with a child, a pet, a loved one, getting out in nature? Whatever it is, find a moment to cultivate self-care and to connect with yourself. It will help  you care for and connect with others as well. It’s cliche but true, the line you hear on planes, “put your own oxygen mask on before putting one on a child.” Well-being is a skill — we need to practice it! 3. Practice mindful eating, or a mindful bite. We may find ourselves sharing more meals with more people at this time of year. If overwhelmed, you can find a moment of calm and deep appreciation right at the table. Try taking a bite (or 2 or 3) with mindful awareness. Simply notice what’s on your plate. Is the food from a plant, an animal?  Notice colors, textures, smells, and even sounds. Notice putting food on your fork, lifting it to the mouth, chewing, tasting, and swallowing. And notice, if you’re like most of us, that there will probably be food on its way to the mouth while you’re still chewing! Smile at it all. Be easy on yourself. 4. Smile at someone you usually walk by — a cashier, a delivery person, a neighbor, a flight attendant, or any number of people we may see and even interact with, but don’t really acknowledge. See the humanity in others and share a smile. It matters. It makes both parties feel better. Smiling can reduce stress! 5. Reach out to someone you know who might be having a rough time. Say hello, offer your help, your time, a meal, a walk, a conversation. Listen fully and with an open heart. Sometimes that’s all it takes to help someone feel better, connected, cared for. The best present you can give is your presence! (OK, cliche, but I like it and believe it.)

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Mindful  by Mary Oliver

Every day I see or hear something that more or less

kills me with delight, that leaves me like a needle

in the haystack of light. It was what I was born for — to look, to listen,

to lose myself inside this soft world — to instruct myself over and over

in joy, and acclamation. Nor am I talking about the exceptional,

the fearful, the dreadful, the very extravagant — but of the ordinary, the common, the very drab,

the daily presentations. Oh, good scholar, I say to myself, how can you help

but grow wise with such teachings as these — the untrimmable light

of the world, the ocean’s shine, the prayers that are made out of grass?

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BONUS STRESS BUSTER  You made it to the end of the blog! Here is a bonus tip: Take a break in the bathroom! (What?!) YES! Sometimes at a gathering or party, the only place you can be alone is the bathroom. If are feeling anxious, overwhelmed and just need to gather yourself, an easy exit is to make your way to the bathroom. Nothing unusual there. Then simply feel the breath moving in and out of the body. Take 3 slow cycles of breath. This can kick in the relaxation response and calm anxiety.

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May you find comfort, ease, love, and rest in the midst of the season. Be sure to take good care of yourself,  be gentle with yourself and others, and keep curiosity and gratitude alive!

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To learn more:

• Workshops and 1:1 Coaching for you and your Organization

• Schedule a free 20-minute Chat with Terre Passero, founder of Mindful Stress Management

• YouTube for guided mindfulness practices and talks about stress, the brain, and the body

• LinkedIn