“Hi. How are you today?” It’s a simple greeting in English and the anticipated response is short and sweet, something like: “good,” “ok,” “great,” or on a good day, “awesome!” That’s about the extent of it. The common greeting varies in different countries; for example, “Have you eaten yet?” (parts of China) or “Where are you going?” (Bali)
Imagine if the greeting were something like, “Hi. What’s working well for you today?” or “What are you grateful for today?” What would that stimulate in our conversations and our thinking? I know, it sounds unusual. Though I’m not trying to start a movement for a new greeting, I do like the sound of it.
I encourage you to pose that question to yourself throughout the day: “What’s right with me today?” or “What am I grateful for right now?”
With this question you are guiding your awareness to something that is working, regardless of what else is going on. The intention is not to ignore, bury, or dismiss hardship or pain; rather, in the midst of it all, can you acknowledge that something is probably also working well? Can you find an attitude of gratitude?
Consider an Attitude of Gratitude
- Can you identify three things in your immediate environment that are working well for you, or that you appreciate?
This is not a trivial practice. According to neuroscience research, the more we remember/ponder pleasant thoughts and experiences, the more they’ll be strengthened in the brain and in our memory. Thoughts of gratitude and appreciation prime parts of the brain that strengthen feelings of joy and contentment.
Three for me right now: 1) I have sight; 2) I have a big glass of clean water in front of me now and access to clean water at any time; 3) my mother is still alive and I’m going to visit her shortly.
“What’s working well for you today?”
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What a great idea! I guess what you’re talking about is concentrating on what you have and not what you don’t have: being grateful!
Hi June, you got it–acknowledging even a few pleasant things in our immediate environment in the midst of whatever else is there can help us see a fuller picture. As simple as noticing a blossoming flower, the fact that we have shelter, a glass of clean water, a computer that works are a few things working in my immediate environment. Then we can also think in terms of what’s right about self–as Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “there is more right with you than there is wrong with you.” And one practice there is noticing at least a few things that are “right” about us in the midst of a voice of self-criticism or self-doubt. I’m grateful for you, June Komater!
I like the idea that noticing what’s right in the midst of challenges gives us a fuller picture of the current ‘story’ we are in. There is always something right happening at any time; something good, and our experience of any given moment is completely colored by where our attention is. So that slight adjustment in perception can really help. I like it! So simple but so easily forgotten.
Good point, Chandra! Thank you for contributing. Noticing where our attention is and making a conscious choice to let it stay there or perhaps choosing to guide it to another point of focus can truly shift our relationship to an experience. A mindfulness practice can help us learn to do that.