Hiking in the Marin Headlands, just north of the Golden Gate Bridge, a coyote and I shared the trail for a moment. When I saw him, I froze. We exchanged glances, and he meandered away, seemingly uninterested, unafraid. I, on the other hand, felt threatened. As a result, I experienced a healthy stress response in my body, mind, emotions.

Body: My heart was pounding, my breath was shallow, legs were shaky. I felt as if the hair on my head and body were standing up. I froze, couldn’t move. (classic “freeze” of the fight, flight, freeze response of the sympathetic nervous system)

Thoughts: “I am going to be attacked. Who will find me?” (thoughts went off to “what if… “) 

Emotions: fear, anxiety, terror (I was so afraid! It just happened without any action on my part. My body reacted instantly.) 

The limbic area of my brain had detected threat (my fear of coyotes even though I’ve since learned that they are generally harmless to humans). That perceived threat activated the sympathetic nervous system, the body‘s stress response, setting in motion the secretion of cortisol, adrenaline, and other stress hormones.

As the coyote walked away, I took a few deeper breaths. My body normalized. The relaxation response kicked in, and thanks to the message in my brain that there was no threat, I became “unfrozen.” I slowly backed up a few steps. The coyote turned to look at me a couple of times, one of which I snapped this shot.

Stressors come in all shapes and sizes.

Stress can be an external stimulus, like a coyote, a traffic jam, the illness of a loved one, a looming deadline, an angry text, a difficult conversation, a look. Stressors can also be internal thoughts such as a self-critical voice or a memory of a difficult conversation. What causes stress for one person may be a welcome opportunity for another, e.g., public speaking.

Identifying your stressors can help you regulate your emotions. Consider these questions:

1. What is a common (or recent) stressor in your life?
2. Where do you feel the sensations in your body when faced with that stressor?
3. What thoughts and emotions accompany the stressor(s)?
4. How do you usually respond to the stressor? Does your response help or hurt the situation?

The situation, or stressor, may not change, but our response can. We can better regulate our response and our emotions. The more conscious we become of our personal stressors and their accompanying sensations in the body, mind, emotions, the more we can learn to respond to them skillfully. The stressor may remain, but it doesn’t have to derail you or the situation at hand.

So back to the coyote — since learning that they aren’t a threat to humans, the next time I see one, the stress response may not kick in. And if it does, I will probably recover more quickly with the help of deep breaths that will activate my parasympathetic nervous system and help calm my body.

To learn more:

• Workshops and 1:1 Coaching for you and your Organization
• Schedule a free 20-minute Chat with Terre Passero, founder of Mindful Stress Management
• YouTube for guided mindfulness practices and talks about stress, the brain, and the body
• LinkedIn